Played Lately: NCAA Football 11

• Since I don't have a lot of gaming friends, I rely pretty heavily on the online community (especially this blog) to share my enthusiasm. But year in and year out, my one constant gaming companion has been my brother. Our tasted don't always mesh (he's a fan of Halo and various sports games), but I always enjoy sharing stories and talking about our latest exploits in our virtual worlds. Every year around this time, he tells me about who he's taking some midlevel college's football team to the national championship. They are intriguing tales, about taking a ragtag group of players, showing their potential, and turning the school into a football powerhouse. It's been a similar story for years now, renewed with each iteration of the franchise. But he still enjoys it and that joy is infectious.


• This year is decided that I wanted to join in the fun, so I picked up a copy of NCAA Football 11 so that I could see what it is he's been talking about all these years. The results, so far, have been mixed.


• My brother's Online Dynasty is running at All-American level which, because they have to use fancy themed difficulty terms, is equivalent to a Hard setting. This is perfectly tuned for my brother and his friend. But it is not conducive to someone who hasn't played a football game seriously since Tecmo Bowl. I was doing so bad during my most recent game that I simmed the last quarters and my team gave up two touchdowns just like I would have. So that's something. In essence, the game has handled me roughly, like an inexperienced lover how keeps putting his hands in the wrong god-damned places.


• I did try a game on easy mode like any sportaphobe should. They call it Freshman just to drive home how worthless I am. I actually won the game and thought I was doing good. That was not correct. I might as well have been playing against a quadruple amputee. Hell, I shouldn't say that. With the right controller, one of those guys would work me over.


• Most damning, though, is that the game expects you to already know what you're doing. I know it seems silly, but I'd actually like to learn how to play the game. Where is the tutorial? Where are the pop-up hints? Where is the condescending narrator to tell me what the hell I'm doing wrong? I thought this was 2010. Aren't we in the fucking future yet?

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